Clicking My Ruby Heels

I’ve been feeling homesick this past week.  Maybe it's because everyone else is talking about going home in a few weeks and I decided to fill a backpack with only the essentials and traipse around Europe instead.  At the time, it seemed like a great idea. I mean, it'll be absolutely awesome, but of course there's a part of me that wishes I was going home.

Maybe it’s because milestone events are happening at home.  My grandma just turned 80 and I’m worried that next time I see her, she won’t remember me.  My dear cousin just got engaged and I wish I could help her celebrate.  Maybe it’s because I was called fat (again)… I’m not fat!  I’m just not Chinese!  Or maybe it’s because I’m tired of travelling forty minutes by train to get fresh produce.  There is very little demand for fresh produce where I live, so sometimes the same head of lettuce will sit on the shelf for a week.  Everything just looks so wilted and limp.

Over the years, I've taken to Photoshopping myself into major family events... like here, directly from Thailand to my sister's baby shower: 

Or sending super hokey Christmas greetings to my parents, via my webcam:

I miss my parents and in-laws and all the love, support and comfort they provide.  I miss my friends and sister: karaoke, board games, fondue parties, camping, backyard drinks, downtown dancing, deep talks, non-stop laughter, never any gossip or drama between us because we know who we are to each other…

My bridesmaids... these girls have been my closest friends since before I can even remember.

I'm so lucky to have all these wonderful ladies in my life (and also those who are not in this picture!  You know who you are!) 

There are a bunch of smaller things I’m missing right now too:  clean air, driving with the windows down and La Vie Boheme blaring on repeat, my favourite restaurants, familiar smells, beaches without shark nets, department stores... I started counting down the days and found I still have 405 days to go.  Sometimes, that doesn’t sound like a big number at all but other times, it may as well be a million.  I’ll be ok.  

How do I know I'll be ok?  I've felt this way before.  It passes.  If you're new to travelling and you feel like this, what should you do?  Here's my advice:

1.       Indulge.  I mean, don’t indulge in Haagen Dazs White Chocolate Raspberry Swirl ice cream every day for the entire month of June when you are getting married in August (hindsight is 20/20) but indulge in something that reminds you of home, and don’t feel guilty about it.

2.       Keep in touch with friends and family. Harass your parents with daily phone calls because your super cheap overseas phone plan allows that.  Write postcards to those archaic people without the internet.   Skype and pray it won’t be too glitchy.  Keep your sister up way too late with silly Facebook conversations that no one else would understand (often as a long string of comments on other people’s photos… sorry to those who have fallen victim to that).

3.       Keep in touch with yourself.  You will become a different person when you travel; this is inevitable.  Embrace the personal growth and evolution, but never forget who you are or where you came from.  Keep a journal, take lots of pictures, write a blog entry on homesickness and see if that helps.  

  

4.       Be grateful.  If you are travelling, you’re probably doing things you never thought you would or even could do.  Are you diving with sharks in Borneo?  On safari in South Africa? Backpacking through rural China and staying at a hostel that needs to be condemned?  Good or bad, never take your opportunities for granted.  Live in each moment and know that both the best and the worst will make amazing stories later.

5.       Pay homage to your country.  For example, I have just spent the entire last week watching Great Big Sea music videos at school while I mark worksheets (and that’s not just because Alan Doyle is a total hottie). 

6.       If you can’t be with the ones you love… love the ones you’re with.  Whether it is someone you meet on the road, at a party or at work, it helps to have someone else in the same boat.  You might become friends with people you never would have met outside of this situation.  Get to know these people because they have at least one thing in common with you… they are away from home and in a new situation too.  I am so lucky to have my husband with me.  This way, we are never alone and can experience everything together.  The stressful situations make us stronger and the happy ones make us closer.   These are definitely the days we’ll be telling our grandkids about. 

7.       Know that it will pass.  You will always miss your family and friends… that won’t change.  But some days are better than others.  With a new adventure around every corner, you will have distractions galore so just roll with it and let the time pass quickly.  

I remember quite a few years ago being out for karaoke with some co-workers in Nanaimo.  My friend David sang an absolutely beautiful and heartwrenching rendition of this song.  I've honestly never seen someone put so much emotion into singing.  He was from China, living in Canada.  At the time, I must admit I had a few tears in my eyes... but now I truly understand.