Well, That Escalated Quickly

***Special thanks to Chris G. for the title of this entry***

Escalating and Elevating

You’ve probably never given much thought to elevators and escalators.  Maybe it’s because we don’t have many buildings beyond a few stories tall at home, and I usually take the stairs anyway, but before moving to Hong Kong, I had no idea that there was such a thing as escalator etiquette or that elevators could be such infuriating or amusing things. 

Escalators

Maybe there is escalator etiquette everywhere and I’m just not aware of it, but I’ve never noticed it anywhere else.  Hong Kong people have a very organized and precise way of doing things, so it only makes sense that they’d treat escalators in the same way.  No matter the size of the escalator, the district it is in, or the crowd that is on it, the same rule seems to follow:  stand on the left, pass on the right.  It’s just like driving and it really works.  Have you ever been on an escalator and you’re in a hurry but there are a bunch of people in front of you so you just can’t get by?  This would NEVER happen in Hong Kong.  Just pop over to the left side and hurry yourself along.  It’s great!  I love it!  The only thing that ruins it are those pesky tourists (cause I’m a local now, you know).  They don’t know the rules. 

As a side note, it is important to know that that Hong Kong is home to the world’s longest escalator.  There are breaks in the track so people can get on and off, but this escalator goes on FOREVER.  It starts at IFC mall, upstairs from Hong Kong Station and continues into oblivion.  It might even be the proverbial stairway to heaven.  You can go straight through the Central district without ever touching the ground.  I get on the escalator at the station and it takes me about 10 minutes (if I’m being lazy and just standing still) to get to my friend Shannon’s house… and that’s only a tiny part of the escalator.  I’ve never been all the way up (or even close).  I get too distracted by Elgin Street, home to many restaurants and a comedy club.  Shannon’s been all the way to the top though.  If you want an online walking tour of the escalator, complete with pictures, go check out her blog entry on the escalator:  

http://akindleinhongkong.blogspot.hk/2011/06/walking-tour-escalator.html

I broke the unspoken rule, as I was standing still on the left-hand side to take this photo.

Elevators (known here as lifts)

I have a surprising amount to say about elevators.  First, I live on the 39^th floor, so I take one multiple times a day.  I had an really bad ear infection in November and December and now even if I just take a small elevator, my ears pop, or worse, they refuse to pop, causing me a lot of pain.  I guess this is just a lifelong thing now.  I shouldn't take small trips in elevators anyway... I should be taking the stairs!  I used to run 30 stories each night on the stairs in our old building.... haven't done that since we moved.  

It is worth it to mention that there are both extra and missing floors in all Hong Kong buildings.  I say I live on the 39^th floor because that’s what my address says, but really, I’m not sure.  I’d have to figure it out.  There is the ground floor, but that is not the “1^st floor”.  The first floor is one story up… so what we would call the second.  That adds one extra floor (and puts me at 40). However, HK people really don’t like the number 4, so a lot of the time, they will leave floors with this number out completely.  1,2,3,5,6…. Etc, eliminating 14, 24, 34…. And sometimes 13 as a courtesy to westerners.  4, in Cantonese, sounds nearly the same as the word for death…. Hong Kong people are quite superstitious about things like that.

Hong Kong is home to what I can only assume is one of the tallest elevators in the world, as this elevator is in the 5^th tallest building in the world.  At the very top (118 stories up) there is a bar called Ozone.  This is a really beautiful bar, with an amazing view and really REALLY expensive drinks.  I’ve only been to the highest bar in the world once, but it was pretty awesome.  There is an outdoor area (with very high glass walls, because it can get a bit windy up there).  It was quite windy when I was there… and a rain cloud came right into the bar!  (Farewell, meticulously flat-ironed hair!)

Cloud hair!!!!  Look, I'm actually standing INSIDE a rain cloud!

But, back to elevators.  Have you ever seen those signs in elevators that say “21 person capacity” and wondered to yourself how on earth you’d fit 21 people in an elevator?  Well, the Chinese can do it easily.  Daily, I’m in above capacity elevators at work (don’t worry, we’re still under the upper limit of the weight restriction).  It’s cramped, to say the least.  I feel like we’re a bunch of dolls trapped in a toy chest. 

Now for the infuriating things:

I have some sympathy for this situation, but I’m not going to say it didn’t get on my nerves when I was running late for work.  In our old building, since it was in the process of turning into a hotel, we had a lot of tourists from Mainland China.  Many of them came from small villages and had never even seen an elevator before.  And even so, the ones who knew how to operate an elevator couldn’t read the western-style numbers so they had no clue which floor they were on or even which one was the ground floor.  Their solution to this?  Press every button!  Or no buttons.  Many days, the elevator would pick me up on the 23^rd floor with a lot of dumbfounded tourists just riding up and down aimlessly hoping that eventually they’d end up in the lobby.  Other days, we’d visit every floor on the way down as they pressed everything that even remotely looked like a G. 

Button mashing: this is something that should be reserved for video games, not elevators.  Standing outside and elevator and mashing upupupupupupupupupupup for two minutes is not going to make the elevator come any faster (especially if the Mainland tourists have already pressed all the buttons for the other floors) but that doesn’t stop people from giving their finger a workout.  Once in, it’s closecloseclosecloseclosecloseclose.  I honestly don’t think they realize that the doors close on their own.  I find all of this very funny, but if I’m in a mood, it can be the most annoying thing in the world. 

I probably have more to say on the matter, but I have to go teach grade 3 now.  I’m going to go with the other teachers and button mash my way down to the 3^rd floor, which is really the 4^th floor, except there is no 4^th floor.  (Ok, did anyone else read ‘Sideways Stories from Wayside School’ as a kid, because that last sentence totally reminded me of that book…)